Vulnerability alert!
My mind is tired. Logically, I’m aware of why. I’m a person that gains energy from being with others. There hasn’t been much of that for a while now. In my circles, there has been death, illness, shootings, divorces, depression…honestly so much to mentally process. So I’m fully acknowledging that the majority of us are a little more de-skilled and tired right now. One of the benefits of this blog is helping me understand the full range of impact.
- My anxiety rises quickly: Since going back as a consultant, I’ve had a normal (at least that is what I tell myself) amount of anxiety if I will keep getting business to support my family. Lately, I’m finding freaking at ridiculous points. No new work over a few weeks = “oh no, I’ll never get work again” ridiculous mental reaction. I’m able to talk myself down but it is crazy how fast I can spiral right now.
- Knowing and doing conflict: My brain knows the appropriate skilled way to respond to something, my brain also quickly follows it with “f that”. Then a battle happens and sometimes my skilled self wins and sometimes my inner reactive side wins. Hopefully, I am able to repair any damage I cause.
- My professional feelings are easily hurt: In the past couple of months, I’ve heard a few sentiments about wondering previously if I was the token female for something. This is not new nor surprising. Yet, I almost started crying this time and the sadness that I have to prove myself over and over lasted much longer than in the past. Is there anything to be done? No. There is no unaddressed conflict. Simply, my mind is challenged to let go as quickly as normally I would.
And I even logically know all of this – ok maybe some of this, I am a little crazy sometimes – is being experienced by others right now too. How we get anything done in a healthy way is rather impressive!
What am I doing to help with the challenges my mind is playing? Lots of things – exercise, sleep, simply owning and talking about the challenges, creating connection opportunities, looking at the big picture, and trying to give myself (and others) grace.
What helps you mentally recover?
