This round of pet peeves is focused on the question of “how do I manage up?”. I can’t believe I didn’t do a single pet peeves post in 2020. I think there was just too much angst in every day to bother. But my ability to be annoyed has only improved 🙂
- Do you need to be managed? I often say that I’ve rarely met people at work twirling their thumbs trying to think of ways to make everyone else miserable. This includes leadership. The minute you are approaching this as “they have to be managed”, chances are you will lose. Those “people” you have to manage, they have value. They have skills. They have knowledge. Are they causing you pain, probably but can you approach with curiousity and collaboration. If you approach with judgment and condescension, you will likely lose. People do not like feeling “managed”, you don’t. So don’t try to do it to others regardless of your good reasons.
- What motivations are you highlighting? Speaking of good reasons, chances are high that you have them and that others are creating obstacles. But consider this, when you are presenting your request/etc, are you speaking from what motivates you or them? I like to consider motivations from several lenses and highlight them in my collaborations. Just because something is obvious to me, doesn’t mean that it is to everyone nor does it mean that it matters at the same level. Find their motivations too.
- What can you control? You tried multiple motivations, you tried to collaborate but still nothing. Ok, then take a step back and rethink what is necessary. Maybe you are trying to tackle too much in one shot. What is something you completely control that you could take a step towards? Not only will this help you feel less hopeless but the results might be the very thing that helps influence the motivations you were trying to express.
As much as these are pet peeves, they are mine and as a leader that doesn’t mean I get to simply judge others. Instead, these serve as opportunities for others and for me to grow. If this stuff was easy, I wouldn’t be sharing.
What are your managing up pet peeves?