I can’t remember if I saw this on social media or if someone said this to me, etc.  Yet, I’m finding that I keep thinking about this statement:

“You are not stuck in traffic.  You are the traffic.”

I keep thinking about how many times, especially in the year 2020, I’ve placed myself in victim mode.  The reality is that I contributed to where I am today but why are people so quick to forget that.  Obviously, lots of concepts such as defensive strategies, biases and even the drama triangle put a perspective on this dynamic.  However, I want to go to a simple selfish element: I’m worried about my needs.  Ugh, that even felt crappy typing but completely true.  I can apply this in traffic, I can apply this waiting in long lines at a store, and I can apply this even in an unproductive work meeting.  If I analyze this reaction, I find the biggest pattern is when I feel no control/ability to change the situation.  For example, I can’t move other people’s cars.   Yet, that’s not entirely true…I may have no control/ability to move other people’s cars but I can change the situation:  I can move myself.  I can get creative of what else I could do well sitting in traffic.  I can let go of whatever anxiety I’m building and allow what will happen.

I know, I sound dangerously zen.  Don’t worry, my type a personality will kick in.  I think my biggest takeaway from this reflection is not whether I have control/ability – I always have that…it’s whether I am being challenged by others or by myself to get creative.  When I play the victim, I’m usually by myself – no one to throw ideas off of – no one to question my quick excuse – no one to engage for moving forward.  When I’m by myself, victim is easy.  It’s why I don’t see it often at work; I’m rarely alone.

Every so often I wonder if I will ever run out of things to reflect on and learn/grow…a big fat NO is the answer.

How do you fall into victim mode?

Tricia Broderick

Tricia Broderick

Tricia Broderick is a leadership and organizational advisor. Her transformational leadership at all levels of an organization, ignites growth of leaders and high performing teams to deliver quality outcomes. Tricia has more than twenty years of experience in the software development industry. She is a highly-rated trainer, coach, facilitator and motivational keynote speaker. Beyond her extensive knowledge and skills, her biggest offering is inspiring people to believe anything is possible.

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