Ok, this round of pet peeves is centered on reflection. Specifically, when requesting someone to reflect on their growth/goals, unfortunately the results sometimes contain:
- Checklist: “I facilitated team meetings”. So what? Of course you did, that’s your job. What did you learn about facilitating?
- No reflection: “I’m accepting that I’m doing a good job”. Why? What makes you feel that? Why do you need to accept that?
- One sentence: I don’t want you to write a book or have a complete therapy session but if you spend five minutes on reflection, then you lose. The deep insights come from diving into a topic, looking beyond the surface answer.
- Company reflection: There will be things outside of your control/influence that frustrate you. However, if your entire reflection process was about others, then you are not taking ownership for what you are able to grow in. If that outside impediment is impacting you, then reflect on the impact not just list it as in a case of “I’m a victim to x, thus I can’t learn anything right now. It’s not my fault”.
- I’m being graded: I get it…too many companies have linked together the performance grade and the reflection. However, if you are not honest, not vulnerable, not reflective, then you will ultimately lose. Trying to look perfect to get a “good grade” means you are missing opportunities to understand the why behind a behavior and/or result. That understanding is what helps people excel in new situations. Plus, I’m not saying the only ah-ha moments that are good are from failures, list a couple of the good ah-ha moments too.
Since my last pet peeves post generated a few “I’m sorry” emails (which was sooo not my intention), I decided it was important to also add this disclaimer: As much as these are pet peeves, they are mine and as a leader that doesn’t mean I get to simply judge others. Instead, these serve as opportunities for them and me to grow. If this stuff was easy, I wouldn’t be sharing.
What are your reflection pet peeves?