I am a very empathic person. A quick definition from wikipedia “Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience.”. Most people think of empathy as the first parts but not the respond part. And that part is where I can get tripped up myself too. In fact, I’m maybe too good at the ability to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and share that my response becomes unhealthy. Let me give a current example of this:
On an unfortunate frequent level, I’m receiving notifications/requests/etc about individuals being laid off from work.
People that I think are amazing. People that I would work with again in a heartbeat. People that truly care about what they do.
People that I know are financially struggling. People that I know are scared. People that I know are hurting.
One person, I can stay compassionate and neutral. I can provide suggestions, assistance, and support. This many people, I feel overwhelmed and demoralized. And I’ve gone done unhelpful paths, such as:
- Can I move my timeline up on building my company? Yeah, because the way to help people is just give everyone a better job. Talk about savior complex and so much more wrong with this.
- Increasingly expressing my lost hope and frustration with companies when each new person that contacts me. Yeah, because they want to hear how bad it is and that I’m unsure when things will get better. Talk about not being supportive and turning this into your issue.
When I do step back, I know things will be ok. I know that I can do plenty of things to help people: review resumes, make introductions, post positions on LI that I come across, give small production work, LISTEN, and so much more. I have to remember empathy is only valuable for others when you can also respond appropriately. It’s not easy when there’s so much frustration, pain and fear but that’s when people need it the most.
How are you empathically responding?
